This will be FI Fishie and I's 3rd Christmas together, the last 2 have been spent with his family. This year, we decided that it was only fair to spend it with my family. Seems fair and reasonable right?
Did I mention we'd also spent the last 2 Thanksgivings with his family too? As of this Thanksgiving I hadn't spent a holiday with my family since we'd gotten together. So we spent Thanksgiving Day with my family up north, where I spent most of the day cooking but that's beside the point, then the next day we traveled south to FI Fishie's aunt's house to have another Thanksgiving with his family. This is the Thanksgiving that I would like to forget, why you ask? Because it turned into a nice little battle between me and FI Fishie's family over Christmas and when would work for everyone. I almost wish I would've had some Rock'em Sock'em Robots for us to fight it out with, that way might've been a little more fair.
Here's what happened, we'd already eaten dinner and our bellies were full. I was enjoying playing a rousing game of Spoons with a couple of FI Fishie's cousins and his aunt when FI Fishie came over and asked about Christmas. We'd already agreed to spend the 25th with my family and figure it out from there. Well, FI Fishie's family decided to get together on the 25th. I kindly reminded FI Fishie that we'd already agreed not to drive on Christmas as a rule. Well, that must've made some of his family members upset because next thing I know I'm getting the proverbial middle finger and being told that "Christmas is going to be on the 25th and if Fishie Bride can't make it then oh well."
Umm...excuse me? Way to make me feel welcome to the family huh? I stewed about it and then promptly forgot about it. Until today...
So what happened today you ask? Well, I recieved a copy of an email that FFIL Fishie had sent to FI Fishie.
This isn't the whole email but you can get the gist of what he's saying...
"Frankly I think you need to consider how you can compromise more over your Christmas plans. I have stated that I also don't want to travel on Christmas. [T]raveling more that a couple of hours is hard since nothing is open. The final reason is that I want to reserve Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to spend with [FI Fishie] and [FSIL Fishie] and your families. None of these apply to you. You don't need to be up late on Christmas Eve, and you don't need to travel that far to either family.
Both [FMIL Fishie] and I are rather hurt that you want to spend the weekend in [fishie bride's hometown] and only a couple hours with us. We also feel like we are being taken for granted."
Both [FMIL Fishie] and I are rather hurt that you want to spend the weekend in [fishie bride's hometown] and only a couple hours with us. We also feel like we are being taken for granted."
Ok...anyone else feel as disrespected by that as I did? I have a few things I want to clarify on this-1) on a good travel day, it's at least 2 hours from the Fishie Parent's to my dad's house; in winter this can take upwards of 3 hours, 2) over the last 2 years I've spent many holidays with them, while I was working 3rd shift so I'd either be working the night before and then going to there place for whatever or I'd be there and then go to work, this is the first year I am not working 3rd shift, 3) The original plan was to spend the 25th with my family and the 26th with his, this isn't "the whole weekend in [fishie bride's hometown] and only a couple hours"
The solution we came up with? I'm spending the holidays with my family and FI Fishie is spending them with his, which made FFIL Fishie enormously happy since apparently he doesn't want to spend the holidays with me.
What do you think? Am I overreacting to be hurt and offended by FFIL Fishie throwing his weight around and insisting the the holidays be spent with that family? Did we come up with a viable solution or do you have a better one?
You are right to be offended. You spent two Thanksgivings at their house, they can't have you for every holiday. For now I guess the solution works but what about when you're married? Your future parents in-law need to make more of a compromise and be more understanding! They should realize that you two will have many, many more holidays ahead of you and there's always next year, the year after that, forever! Also that you two are getting married and things are changing for their precious son and to learn to deal with it!
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