Not the Marrying Kind

My most recent Formspring.Me question got me thinking...I've never been "the marrying kind"...

I told you in the intro post that my Barbies NEVER got married, they pretty much lived together or at least Barbie would come over to Ken's (never the other way around)whenever she felt like it...yeah I was all for woman's rights even as a little 5 year old. Not to mention I didn't have the best role models for what a good marriage looked like. My parents and grandparents made marriage look boring, lifeless, and sometimes even loveless. I mean, my parents slept in separate rooms for pete's sakes! On the outside, marriage looked more like a prison sentence then a happy union of two people. My mother and Grandmothers, made it seem like they lost a part of themselves when they got married and had kids. My mom quit working to raise us and even though I respect her decision for that and I'm happy she did it, I knew I wasn't destined for that life, I didn't want to be June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Marion Cunningham, or any of the other "perfect" wives/moms.  And it seemed as though, Marriage = loss of self.

 So how did I get here? How did I get to a place where I actually WANT to get married, and have to live with the same person for the rest of my life and not just pop in and out whenever I feel like it. The short and simple answer is that I found someone who doesn't WANT me to be June, Carol, or Marion. I found someone who wants me to be who I am and not change just because we get married. Marriage no longer = loss of self, now marriage = maintenance of self.
I grew up, realized that I'm not destined to repeat my parents and grandparents mistakes. I realized that life is short and just because I'm married doesn't mean I won't be happy, and I deserve to be happy. I may be writing this blog about my "wedding" planning but, like I told FI Fishie last night-I don't want a wedding, I want a marriage.
Any of you ever feel like you weren't "the marrying kind" only to have an "ah-ha" moment?