The Blob…aka: Our Guest List

Ah yes, the wonderful guest list! Don’t misconstrue what I’m saying, I love my family (at least some of the time) and I’m grateful to have such an extra-large extended family who would enjoy the free food and drinks I’m offering in exchange for coming to my wedding. But, for pete’s sakes there’s just TOO MANY OF THEM! Over 80 of them to be exact, and that’s just my grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and their kids. And when you’re trying to have a small-ish wedding with only 150 people there it’s a little difficult to do when my side of the family alone takes up over half the guest list and FI Fishie’s family is pretty close to consuming the other half. And these 150 plus people are quickly turning into the Blob and consuming everything in its path, especially our itsy bitsy budget.

So what’s the simple answer to our problem? Cut the guest list-that’s what every planning book/magazine/blog/website has told us, if you want to reduce your budget cut the guest list. But how pray tell are we going to do that? We initially set the bar at a few criteria 1) we had to have actually seen this person within the last year, or if we hadn’t we had to have at least seen them on more than just holidays before that 2) if they had children, we had to have actually seen the kid since it was born and be able to name it. Yeah, this was a great plan…until the parents started getting involved. We quickly learned that our cut off criteria wouldn’t work. There was concerns that if so-and-so didn’t get invited that there’d be hurt feelings and then people wouldn’t be speaking to us and blah blah blah.

At which point I was ready to pull my hair out, and scream “But, it’s MY wedding, and I’ll invite whoever I want!”, make sure when you’re reading this you put the whiny little teenage bratty voice to that last statement to get the full effect kthanks (I admit, I have a bratty side when I want).

 So, what’s a poor fishie to do? Do I invite everyone and their brother for the sake of family harmony? Or do I go with my gut, stand my ground and say “Listen, this is MY wedding and I don’t want to look out at the guests and not be able to recognize anyone”. Did you have guest list problems or was your guest list all sunshine and rainbows? If it was, we can’t be friends anymore cuz I’m too jealous…just kidding, we can still be friends right? Kthanks!

Not the Marrying Kind

My most recent Formspring.Me question got me thinking...I've never been "the marrying kind"...

I told you in the intro post that my Barbies NEVER got married, they pretty much lived together or at least Barbie would come over to Ken's (never the other way around)whenever she felt like it...yeah I was all for woman's rights even as a little 5 year old. Not to mention I didn't have the best role models for what a good marriage looked like. My parents and grandparents made marriage look boring, lifeless, and sometimes even loveless. I mean, my parents slept in separate rooms for pete's sakes! On the outside, marriage looked more like a prison sentence then a happy union of two people. My mother and Grandmothers, made it seem like they lost a part of themselves when they got married and had kids. My mom quit working to raise us and even though I respect her decision for that and I'm happy she did it, I knew I wasn't destined for that life, I didn't want to be June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Marion Cunningham, or any of the other "perfect" wives/moms.  And it seemed as though, Marriage = loss of self.

 So how did I get here? How did I get to a place where I actually WANT to get married, and have to live with the same person for the rest of my life and not just pop in and out whenever I feel like it. The short and simple answer is that I found someone who doesn't WANT me to be June, Carol, or Marion. I found someone who wants me to be who I am and not change just because we get married. Marriage no longer = loss of self, now marriage = maintenance of self.
I grew up, realized that I'm not destined to repeat my parents and grandparents mistakes. I realized that life is short and just because I'm married doesn't mean I won't be happy, and I deserve to be happy. I may be writing this blog about my "wedding" planning but, like I told FI Fishie last night-I don't want a wedding, I want a marriage.
Any of you ever feel like you weren't "the marrying kind" only to have an "ah-ha" moment?

Formspring Me

Alright, so Formspring may be my newest addiction...too bad no one reads my ramblings enough to want to ask me a question. Then today, BAM! right there in my inbox, "Someone asked you a question"...really? Ok, so this person didn't have the guts to actually tell me who they were but it was still an interesting question for me, the comments I made were made in High School and forced me to reflect on the changes I've made since being in high school. I encourage everyone to go to http://www.formspring.me/FishieBride and ask a question-I promise to answer all of them!

Hello Sam.... I remember a certain someone who called marriage is for losers and monogamy is stupid.... Now getting married and settling down... MMMM I think I was right all along...



I don't think I used those exact words but ok, if that's how you remember it. As humans, we are naturally and constantly changing and evolving. I’m not the same person I was when I made those comments-I'm guessing you and I haven't interacted since high school otherwise you'd know that. Marriage is all about what you make it-I don't intend to have the same kind of lifeless boring marriage my parents or grandparents had- if you allow your relationship to become stagnant and lifeless then yes, marriage is "for losers" but if you allow your marriage to continue to grow and flourish, making time for your relationship and by not getting bogged down by the day to day monotony but making sure that on a daily basis your partner knows that you are still “in love” with them. If you knew me at all, you’d know that I am not one who enjoys the same old same old, day in and day out. Life is what you make it, if you make it stale and boring then your relationships will be stale and boring. But, if you find a way to inject your normal day-to-day existence with something unexpected and enjoyable then that’s what your relationship will be, unexpected and enjoyable. I’ve had two years of unexpected and enjoyable with someone who understands me and motivates me to be more than I ever thought I could be; and if losing my mother taught me anything it’s that life is short and if I am able to get even 1 more day of unexpected and enjoyable with this person it’s all worthwhile.

Blog Face-Lift

In case you hadn't noticed, this poor little blog has gotten a much needed face-lift! Thanks to http://www.shabbyblogs.com/ for the fabulous background and other elements. 

So what do you think? Should I leave it, go back to the way it was, or scrap this and find a different layout?

The Registry List

We all remember being little kids and writing out our lists to Santa in July. Wait, that was just me? Oops, sorry!

 You could write anything you wanted on that list, and then just put a little stamp on the envelope and like magic it went up to the North Pole for Santa to read and memorize so that when it came time to deliver all those little presents he'd remember that Little Sammi wanted an Easy Bake Oven for christmas and BAM! there it was Christmas morning.Well, getting married is kind of like that...only 100 times better!

Registry Must-Have

I think I've found my new registry must-have...

Personally, I like that it's the same type of material used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.

Do you have any "must-have" items for your registry?

Dress Shopping The Fishie Way

Here's how deciding to go dress shopping went...

 

Tuesday afternoon I recieved an email from a local bridal shoppe about a sale they're having on Sunday. After one quick email and a few texts to fabulous madre Fishie, we'd decided to go together. I started to think about it and decided maybe I'd better ask sista fish, and the fish maids if they'd be available to go with too. Well, sista fish had plans, one fish maid lives 3 hours away, and the other was going to come until she needed to have a root canal. (I gave her a pass on coming after I heard about that) So it was just madre Fishie and me.

Some Fishies Will Never Learn...

Umm...remember that post three weeks ago where I promised that I'd be a good fishie from now on and blog twice a week? Yeah, me neither! Especially since after 3 weeks and I've written a total of 1 post...bad bad fishie. We can still be friends though right? kthanksloveu. I blame being a very very busy fishie plus a perfectionist fishie who has to go through countless revisions before I dare to post something for you to read.
I've got plenty of posts just sitting in my "drafts" folder and I promise I'll try really really really hard to put my anal tendencies aside and trust that you'll love me even if my posts don't come out perfectly. And I've got plenty to catch you up on...the guest list drama, the multitude of "receptions" we might end up having, the idea of eloping to Vegas, wedding dress shopping, plus lots lots more that's just floating around in my fishie head.
Just hang in there with me and I promise you it'll be worth your time.

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It's Just One Day...

I find myself repeating this over and over in my mind. Why, you ask? Well, it’s my justification for not blowing my time, energy and hard earned budget monies on something that I either a)want, but don’t need or b) think I want, and definitely don’t need.
I was using this justification “it’s just one day” while rationalizing that spending money on dance lessons so that we can have a wonderful first dance together was totally not worth it. And it dawned on me…kinda like in those new Microsoft OS 7 commercials…it may just be ONE day but it’s the beginning of the REST of my days. And as for the dance lessons? Well, as I was pondering the expense my phone rang and I think the people at Arthur Murray Dance Studio have major psychic powers because they were offering me a FREE dance lesson…so if it works out then I’ll have to justify it in my mind to keep going, and avoid what I’ve termed “The Jr. High Sway” –the “let’s stand arm’s length away and hug and just sway to the music”, but that’s a topic for another post.

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Have you used the “it’s just one day” to justify not spending extreme amounts of money or been told that “it’s just one day” by well-meaning friends/family?

Bad Fishie, Very Bad Fishie!

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize profusely to everyone who regularly reads my blog. I've been a very bad fishie and noticed that I haven't posted anything since oh...the middle of March! Don't hate me and we can still be friends right? Okay great thanks! Phew...now that's over I can attempt to catch you up on the madness that is going on in my cluttered little brain.
I promise that from here on out, I'll try and be a better fishie and blog more-at least twice a week. (I was originally gonna say once a day but who are we kidding it took me almost 2 weeks to write this)
I'll continue editing the few posts sitting in my draft box and have them up in the near future, I'll start working on some new material and have that up before you know it. All I ask is that you try and bear with me.
Until next time, I'll leave you with this fabulous picture of the fishies in California on our recent vacation...aren't we adorable?